Life and Work

I have such a long ride to and from work. For the most part I don't mind since this is the time I get to write, read and spend time with God. Let me tell you though, the 2 hour ride there and the 2 hour ride back really takes its toll on your body. Sometimes I am too tired to get anything done so I opt to taking a nap. Now I am not someone who likes to take naps for there are so many things I want to accomplish in my brief life time but sometimes the body demands it. And when your body demands rest you really should listen to it. Anywho, for the last couple of weeks I have been feeling a little down. I love to write and make films and just be creative but that is not what the day job is about. I fix computers and run all types of spreadsheets for a living. Very technical with no real creativity involved. I've been fine with this for a great many years but lately I have just been hating it. I make no real difference to the world or for The Kingdom to all technical stuff. I feel I have a calling in my life and that is to create fiction in ways that make people think. To make people want to learn more about The Lord and want to seek him out. I want now, more than ever, to follow that calling but also feel I am being held back. There are bills to be paid and food that needs to be put on the table and the technical work is just barely paying me enough to do this. There is no back up plan or savings so I am stuck with a real need to keep the day job though my soul cries out that it is suffocating me. Spending so much time with the traveling and doing the day job really knocks me out at the end of the day. I do my best to push past it work hard on the train and at home but it takes it toll. I guess it is true what they say, “Anything worth doing is never easy.” So I press on and pray The Lord will open a door to take me away from technical garbage and into the world where my creativity can grow. Until that day I will bust my behind and get the bills paid. Fun stuff . . . no . . . not really.